I Love You So Much I'm Going to Pull Your Hair Out

I went up to Calgary for the weekend. My parents were in town and I drove them back to Calgary for a scrumptious turkey dinner at Britt's house.

We braved the Calgary Zoo on Saturday with EIGHT kids ages 4 and under - Dad & Julia, Britt & Evan and their 2 kids, Me and my 3 kids and bff Tara and her 3 kids! And it was a holiday weekend.

Keira and bff Michaela were so adorable. When they met up at the zoo, they ran to each other and embraced in the biggest hug. They were inseperable and held hands all day.

After the zoo we went back to Tara's house and took the kids to the park. Then P came to get the kids to take them up to Grandma & Grandpa Jackson's house.

Tara and I went out to Walmart. OOOOoooo what fun. Weez+Tara+Walmart-Kids=FUNFUNFUN! We didn't stay too long or spend too much, but it was still nice to be out with no kids. Of course, I love my kids AND her kids but...you mother's understand :)

Then I spend a few hours getting my butt kicked playing Soul Calibur with Sean & Tara. I'm a little out of practice with my video gaming skills so I just talked tough and enjoyed getting beat.

Tara and I (and her kids) went to church today. I am surprised that through all the giggling, and talking, and probably annoying the people beside us, I still managed to feel the Spirit and left church feeling on top of the world.

I bumped into A at church. We used to be in Airdrie 3rd Ward together, then she moved, then I moved and it seems like whenever I'm visiting in Airdrie, she's visiting too. She and her husband M have a great relationship. The kind of relationship I hope to find one day. Talking with her inspired me to be better - to not wait for the husband/dad to start things like family scripture study etc. I can do this now. I can do it by myself. I already pray with my kids every day. It's so cute to hear Anika and Keira praying. They say the prayer every night now and I often have to tell them to wait until I get there. I come up the stairs and they are both kneeling at my bed halfway through their prayers. A was sharing an experience in Relief Society that her family sings a hymn every night around bed time. I'm going to try that with my kids. I was thinking that it might be an easier way to let them know it's bedtime rather than SAYING it's bedtime only to hear 'but i dont waaana go to bed mommyyyy.'

After church, P dropped the kids back off and we headed back home. Anika and Keira sit in the back - too far away for me to break up fights or take toys away. They fought ALL the way home. I don't know what was going on because I can only see so much in my rear view mirror, but Keira would lean over, Anika would grab her hair and yank it out, Keira would scream, Anika would scream back, Keira would hit her, Anika would hit back etc etc. On two separate occasions, I had to pull the car over to do their buckles back up. They were so into fighting, hairpulling and screaming that they were practically jumping on each other! I was doing pretty good at ignoring them - silently reminding myself that the kids had a hard weekend because things were out of the norm. By the time we hit Fort MacLeod I had to take a deep breath and almost started crying. My head was pounding and my patience was wavering, but I stayed strong and just let them work it out.

The fighting didn't stop when we got home. We I stopped the van, I told the kids they need to leave their angries in the van and NO fighting in the house. Keira was temper-tantrumed out but Anika still had her fists up ready to go. Luckily, I managed to get her kicking and screaming up the stairs, into her jammies and into my bed for story time. We read only 24 pages of Jungle Book before the kids started to hit each other because they ALL wanted to sit on my lap. I got them into bed with no problems!! YAY.

So now I'm sitting here with mixed feelings about my weekend. I had a great time through all the stress and hair pulling. I had a great time with Tara. I had a great time at church - only slightly weirded out by the people that were weirded out talking to me now that I'm single. The sideways looks and short hello's made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I am happy. I want people to know that. People don't need to be awkward because they are worried about my feelings, or what happened. I'm happy and I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me.

My 3 positive things:

1) I have an amazing best friend who makes me feel like me.

2) My kids bring me so much joy I can't even describe. Even though things are tough, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

3) Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints brings me so much happiness and hope.