My Life According to Facebook

I had nothing to blog about - if you can believe it, so my sister suggested that I blog about my Facebook status updates. So, here we go, this is kind of long so read, or skim over it, whichever you have time or the interest for. This is a list of my status updates thus far in 2009 in reverse chronological order. I'm sure you all know how this works - put "Louise" in front of each sentence.

• can't comprehend how Fabricland can more than DOUBLE the price of their flannel in 6 months, when Marshall's only went up by about 20%!!! appalling!
• has a pretty boring life right now - which is a bit surprising. No idea what to even blog about.
• needs to kick this grumpiness in the butt. Going on three days now!!
• has been inspired by DJ and is going for her first jog of the year!!
• changed her name.
• is trying not to be judgemental of her neighbor (subsidized housing) who drives a brand new Durango.
• thinks Polly has a death wish.
• is a (not on purpose) plant killer
• has a one year old, a 2 year old and a 3 year old. whew!
• does NOT have the new Facebook yet like everyone else
• gets ridiculously excited about fabric, and patterns, and sewing gadjets
• is going to buy a snow shovel today *grumble grumble*
• is getting business up and running again.
• doesn't give apologies to people that demand it.
• ‘s heart is thawing out
• made a pretty ridiculous and expensive finacial error. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *epcor i hate you*
• is mildly overhwhelmed with the contents of her mailbox today.
• hopes Keira is wrong. She says there is a ghost upstairs
• really hopes the base to the blender is NOT in the LAST box she unpacks. grr. where did it go??? *fruitshake i miss you*
• feels like poo today and is having a hard time thinking of a positive status update in relation to her crazy life
• is suffering from a very painful ear infection at 4:45am. *ouch ouch ouch*
• is super annoyed by people that use their status updates to get attention. grrrr.
• was up 12 times between 10pm-3am. Thanks kids!
• + Anika + headcold = a very cranky duo!
• drives a van with duct tape holding it together. iy yi yi.
• is going to clean and give the keys back!!
• is about to put a picture frame collage on her wall and thinks it should have come with a template!!
• is sick and tired of sick and tired kids.
• just spend over an hour on the phone with an un-friendly Sony Tech support guy and he didn't fix it!!!
• has some friends that are definately 'keepers'
• breaks the rules - unintentionally – oops
• is going to pretend she knows what she's doing and go out to the hardware store to get stuff to insall the washer and dryer
• looks a bit like Dolly Parton today - but hey, 9 consecutive hours of sleep was worth it!
• gets the keys to her new place tomorrow!!
• is getting buried in boxes, rubbermaid tubs and piles of laundry!!
• need a few available men....to help her move on Sat...anyone????
• got a new Blackberry Curve oooOOOOOoooo
• can't believe she is actually throwing a Dora themed party today for Miss Anika
• thinks people should show love their significant others all year 'round, not just on Valentines Day
• 's design wheels are turning. Looks like she'll be pulling out the paper, felts and measuring tape tonight instead of cleaning!
• is not STILL wearing fishnets. She just hasn't had a chance to change her status update.
• is wearing fishnets....eeek!
• is about to be attacked by Britt's scissors....and.....*exhale
• is procrastinating
• is languorous
• is reading a book that is going to solve all her problems
• has just about lost her mind
• is bored of burgundy. Everyone on MSN uses burgundy font. B-O-R-I-N-G
• is still waiting for a cleaning fairy
• is looking for someone to come clean her house. She'll pay. Anyone interested?
• wants to know if there is anyone in putting in a Tupperware order this week!! PLEASE???
• sat beside someone at church today that smelled like black licorise. ew.
• is going to make yummy nachos with an insane amount of veggies and melted cheese....mmmmm
• is debating if she should pay rent on the 1st?
• is divulging the secret to perfectly toasted pancakes - extra virgin olive oil (organic of course).
• is a horrible monster - apparently.
• would really REALLY like to go to bed
• is going to watch 'House' again. cant....stop....watching
• is cleaning four off the floor, cupboards and children (without a bathtub!!)
• µœßßœð ↓þ ħœ¶ ĸœ←”øæ¶ð
• is in the middle of an organized mess
• is making whole wheat playdoh HAHAHA
• is a little more scared of spiders than she thought!
• admits to only eating the cheese out of the cheese and crackers Handi-Snacks
• cheated on her Kitchen Aid food processor with a Henkels knife!
• is thinking about "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows, everything...." - hey Britt, how do you like this status?
• pulled an all nighter - not by choice
• is being bombarded by a bunch of sicknessess - tonsilitis, ear infection, chest colds, bronciolitis...what next? - please say sleep!
• is Facebooking on a brand new laptop and its HUGE compared to the micro computer I was using!
• does NOT put unpicking machine embroidery on her top 5 list of things to do on a Thursday night!
• is going to the chiropracter and then coming home and watching her house clean itself
• needs a little rhinoplasty so she can have a nose like Fergie.
• was going to go to bed at 9pm, but Traver had other plans. grrrr.
• wishes she had a miracle cure for her 3 miserable sickies
• just woke up from a THREE AND A HALF HOUR NAP??????????
• has a new blog (jacksondailyzoo.blogspot.com) and wants to read yours. What's your blog address?
• kind of sort of wishes the antibiotics didn't kick in so quickly - Keira is FEELING BETTER
• is moving again
• is eating hotdogs dipped in mustard and manzanilla olives. can you say bad breath?? Haha
• 's morning shower was cut short by the hungry looking spider eyeballing her. EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• is going to knit in the round - whatever *that* means?
• is using a teensy tiny laptop because hers got toasted. Hopefully the new one gets here soon!
• has too many hobbies
• now knows what 7 consecutive hours of sleep feels like
• just peeled 50+ Dora Stickers off the toilet. Anika must have misunderstood "potty stickers"
• really misses having a bathtub somedays - ie: when her kids eat blueberries for breakfast
  
  

Mr. Mischeif & Sleeping Beauty

The one time I leave the fridge lock open, this is what happens. Traver opened the door, climbed up on the step and helped himself to a bran muffin. So cute.

And if that wasn't cute enough, I finished making dinner and went to set the table and found Anika fast asleep on the couch. I took them to the park today and they played hard. Then we walked all the way home. It was probably a half hour walk because I didn't bring the stroller. It was fun. I'm so excited for summer.

ok i have no idea how to turn the picture. oops.

Polly Pocket vs. Diamond

Let me tell you a story. We used to have a dog. Her name was Xyna (pronounced Zee-na - don't get me started on the spelling). She was a Pitbull/Lab X. Beautiful, hyper, annyoing, destructive, stinky dog.

One day, I was cleaning house and playing with the dog. Later on that day, I noticed the diamond was missing out of my ring. I was in a panic! I checked the washer and dryer, I strained the bucket of water I was cleaning with, I vacuumed the entire basement and then went through the vacuum bag to try and find the diamond. It was nowhere to be found, so it was assumed that Xyna ate it while we were playing around.

Ever wonder how long it takes for a diamond to go through a dog and come out the other end? Less than 24 hours! I could hardly sleep all night because I was worrying about the diamond and so I got up in the morning, went out to the backyard, picked up all the poop in a bucket, got a bottle of Mr. Clean to make it into poop soup, a pair of rubber gloves and then started straining it.

Would you believe it? The diamond was there! I got my tweezers and put the diamond in a Ziploc bag and went into Birks and made up some story about how my diamond fell out of my ring and I need to get it reset.

What does this have to do with Polly Pockets? - I'm sure you're wondering. Keira had the little Polly Pocket with the blue car. You can't tell from the picture, but she's only about an inch tall. Last night I took the kids out for DQ treats and to Value Village to pick out a toy. Keira found a really cool Polly Pocket neighborhood with all these tiny little gadgets. When it was time to go to bed, she put the neighborhood on her dresser but needed to sleep with Polly (keeping in mind Polly is less than an inch tall - not exactly the best cuddle buddy).

This morning, she went upstairs to get her Kanteen and came down with her little neighborhood.

"Where is your Polly Pocket?" I ask

"I swallowed it" she says matter of factly.

So the question is...how long will it take to come out and is it worth "resucing?"

Another Birthday, Friday the 13th and the Bedtime Marathon

My little baby turned ONE on Thursday! This year, in a way, has gone by so fast! Traver has been so much fun. I have really enjoyed mothering him. Life was so crazy this year, and he was just so calm and happy.

He's standing on his own now and so proud of himself. He doesn't seem to have any interest to walk yet though. He'd prefer to be carried everywhere (especially in the Mei Tai Wrap).

We were going to have a little party for him but P didn't have eggs, so didn't get around to making his cake or wrapping his present. Which turned out to be alright because I had a migrane and was in no mood to be cooking dinner, entertaining and then cleaning up. So we will have the party on Sunday at his place. He is inviting his family. Bets anyone? They aren't going to show up because I'll be there. I hope he doesn't get too mad or upset. I told him he can just do the party without me, but he reminded me that we agreed to do the kids bday parties together. So we'll cross our fingers that SOMEone will at least show up.

So, Tracey reminded me that it's Friday the 13th. So, Happy Friday the 13th :) There was a spider in my laundry today. I think that's why.

I'm completely exhausted by the bedtime marathon in my house. It's one of those things I probably can't change and just need to learn to see the positive and not let it bother me. It's upsetting for me that the end of nearly everyday ends in frustration. The kids are so needy and need me all at once. So I deal with one kid while the other ones cry or yell and then I get to the next kid, while the first one starts bawling because s/he wasn't done with me yet. It makes me sad and I wish I was an ocotopus, or that I could multiply and have 3 of me at bedtime. Actually, while I'm multiplying, I'd sure love to have a few extra of me hanging around to clean the house :)

I'm Not Accepting Any More Mail!

This morning, Keira and Anika cried and fought ALL morning. This afternoon we went out to get my nails done. I have a date (ooOOOOoo) this weekend so thought I should take the opportunity now to get my nails filled because I likely won't have any time for the next couple days. I found a lady that does Gel Nails from home AND she runs a daycare, SO I could bring my kids and get my nails done. The perfect solution to my crazy life. Well as it turns out the last time I got my nails done I got Acrylic. Apprently Acrylic and Gel don't mix. OK fine, so we'll take them off and start from scratch. Normally in a nail salon this takes all of 10 min (if the nails are stubborn). They usually just slide a thin strong object under the nail and it slides off. L, the nail tech, who has had her licence since Dec 08, was a little worried about pulling the nails off like that cuz it might ruin the nail underneath. For the next 1.5 hours, she filed, and scraped, and tried to break the nails down with acetone while my kids had a few meltdowns and Keira pooped her pants. After the 1.5 hours L managed to remove 7 of the 10 nails and said I would have to come back another time to finish up because both of us just didn't have time. So I paid her $10 for removing 70% of my nails because I felt bad for her. When I got in the car I slid one of my thumbnails under the other two nails and popped them right off. Then I managed to wiggle the corner of the last nail until I could get my teeth under it and ripped that one off too. 3 nails in 30 seconds flat. Now I need to figure out how I'm going to get my nails done!

We then drove out to Magrath to check my mail and pickup my damage deposit cheque from my old landlords. I realized it was pretty late so stopped off at Burger King to get some yucky dinner. I ordered my burger with no ketchup. About halfway to Magrath, I open my sandwhich and see the little tomato crossed out on the packaging. Apparently tomato and ketchup sound the same said through a drive thru speaker. Or maybe because ketchup is made from tomatoes, they thought I wouldn't know the difference. grr. I HATE ketchup.

Next stop - post office. Where I received the following:

1. Government Cheque for $300 (from last month, that I totally forgot about that obviously came late) YAY
2. Tupperware junkmail - blah
3. Huggies junkmail - blah
4. Bank statement reminding me that I only have $0.63 in my bank account as of the date of the statement - thanks for reminding me how poor I am
5. Another bankstatment saying that I have $67. Oh boy. So in total I have $67.63 to my name.
6. more Huggies junkmail - I guess because I have two kids in (cloth) diapers, I need twice as much junk????
7. Scotiabank junkmail trying to get me to buy Life Insurance - toss
8. Electricity bill - $370.36 for my single wide trailer for a month!!!!!!!! THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY in case you thought you read that wrong. This is with no previous charges owing or anything. ONE month of Electricity!
9. Income Tax stuff - another reminder of how much money I DON'T have.
10. Telus bill with $33 more owing that it should be because they didn't fix the long distance problem from last month.
11. Divorce Papers - which state that I am signing the house over to P. WHAT???!!! Why would I just GIVE him the house? His lawyer is pretty good, so I'm actually (a teensy bit) surprised that she would change something so big from our agreement. Apparently she thinks I deserve to walk away with nothing. WRONG!

And THEN I went to pick up my damage deposit cheque from my evil ex-landlords. My damage deposit was $720. I lived in the trailer for 3 months. They gave me back a cheque for $416.50. Apparently I did $300+ worth of damage in the 3 months that I lived there.

When I took the trailer, I was desperate for a place to live and they knew that and took advantage. My kids and I were going to end up on the street. My understanding is that they had recently purchased the trailer and were getting it ready to rent ie: putting in new carpet/lino/countertops and painting.

They got the new carpet and lino in, slapped on very thin coat of puke green paint on the walls and put in the new countertops (the sink was installed AFTER i moved in). The first night I didn't even have water. I was OK with not everything being completed because after 4 months of moving from house to house, I was just grateful to have a roof over my head where I didn't have to worry about me or my kids bothering anyone.

The landlords hadn't cleaned up from the reno's and I told them not to worry about it, I'd vacuum up the sawdust and do whatever cleaning needed to be done.

The first couple week I was there I spend HOURS bleaching the bathroom ceiling and walls due to cigarette smoke. I replaced the showerhead because the cord was yellow and full of smoke and stunk so bad when the water turned on. I wiped down walls where the smoke was running down the wall. I vacuumed up all the sawdust, wiped out the cupboards, cleaned the oven (that I'm pretty sure hadn't been cleaned in over 5 years), cleaned the fridge etc etc.

Then, I lived as a single mother of 3 ages 3 and under and tried my hardest to keep up on things. I'm actually pretty impressed with myself because the only time the dishes really piled up was the times the sink was plugged so bad both sinks were full of water. I vacuumed at least once a week and cleaned the bathroom. Near the end it was untidy, but not unclean.

I then spend days packing and getting things ready to move mostly by myself (with a bit of help here and there from friends) with my 3 kids in tow.

On the last day, I managed to get over there in the morning and spend 3 hours washing walls, vacumming and spot cleaning carpets, vacumming window sills, bleaching the bathroom, kitchen counters, floors etc.

When we did the walk through and I gave back the keys they checked every tiny nook and cranny in that place (which is funny because I don't even think they went in all the rooms when I did the walk through moving in). Curtis picked up 3 tiny crumbs out of the carpet by the step to the front door and a staple. A STAPLE, and I don't even own a stapler, and then accused me of not doing the carpets. There were also a few crumbs on the counter - which I bleached and cleaned and he reprimanded me for not even having the decency to clean their new countertops that they installed. Then he opened a cupboard and I guess while the kids were there when I was packing and cleaning, they took some of their crayons and left them in the cupboard. They checked the stove and the fridge and said it wasn't clean enough. I then told them I didn't realize I was their professional cleaner because they were filthy when I moved in and I have left the trailer in 10x's better condition than when I rented it. They then said there was "stains" on the carpet. What they were is one small spot on the living room floor and one small spot in the kids room where I had hand scrubbed something out of the carpet. I put too much soap in and not enough water so left a wet looking round mark which would have come up with a wet cloth.

Attached to my measly $416.50 return is a receipt for 5 hours of professional house cleaning @ 25.00/hr and a steam cleaning receipt for $178.50 where it shows that they shampooed FOUR rooms and the HALLWAY. Might I remind you, I lived there for 3 months, and I OWN a carpet shampooer.

I am so emotionally drained that it seems to me, life just keeps going down hill.

So to leave this on a good note, I'm going to start leaving '3 good things about today' notes at the end of my posts.

1. Keira was teaching Anika today how to sing I Am a Child of God. It was so beautiful. And when they were coloring, she was telling Anika about Jesus.

2. I got 2 loads of laundry and the bathroom cleaned today.

3. I feeling 80% better than I was yesterday.

Send In a Nurse

About a week ago I got a headcold. Then the headcold seemed a bit more than a headcold, with really bad pressure in my forehead and upper nose, dizzyness and mild fever. Of course, this was the night that between the 3 children I was up 12 times between 10pm-3am!

The next day I lost my voice.

So I went to the doc and begged for Anti-biotics. Doc did a swab for strep and told me it was likely just viral and gave me a handful of Advil Liquid Gels.

Next night ear infection that hurt so bad I couldn't fall asleep until about 1:30am. 4:30am I wake up in excruciating pain. Wondering IF/how I should go to the hospital. How does one get to the hospital that early in the morning with 3 kids, not knowing a soul?? About an hour later as I was pacing the house, drinking water, doping up on Advil, all of a sudden my ear starting bubbling and popped and then a constant sticky stream of fluid ever since. Must have burst an ear drum.

This afternoon, I convinced Anika to have a nap, put the baby gate across the stairs, turned on a movie for Keira & Traver and dozed on the couch for a couple hours.

When Anika woke up she was whiny and wanted me and curled up on my chest and dozed off again, Traver bouncing at the edge of the couch crying and wanting me too and Keira yelling in everyone's faces, cuz that's what she does.

Went upstairs, took my temp again...another fever, and chills. The kids are cying, I've got to make dinner but I feel like curling up on the couch and going back to sleep.

This is the part of single parenthood that kind of drives me nuts!

Oh I forgot to mention that when I was getting the kids in the van, I put the girls in, then walked around the van with Traver and slipped on black ice. Broke open one knee, got a blue gooser on the other knee, popped a blood vessle in my hand and cut it open but luckily Traver didn't even touch the ground. Mothers instict I guess was to hug all 27 lbs of him closer.

Then I drop Anika and Traver off with the babysitter because Keira had an appointment. Went to buckle Keira back into her booster seat and smashed my head on the way out the door. And now I have a gooser on my head. *sigh

Make it stop!!

The Portable Throne

We have a dilemna. Looking for advice on this one. Even if I don't know you and you happen to be reading my blog, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

We have recently moved into a 3 bedroom townhouse. The layout as follows:
UPPER: Girls bedroom, My/Traver's bedroom, playroom, Bathroom
MAIN: Living/Diningroom, Kitchen
LOWER: Cement basement - Laundry/Storage/Weight room

The stairs are posing a problem. If you noticed the BATHROOM is only upstairs. There is no half bath on the main floor. Keira can go up and down stairs no problems, but "needs"me to accompany her whenever she has to go up or down. Anika can go up and down no problem, but is SO slow and if I'm coming down at the same time, refuses to use her feet. She will stand on the step and cry until I carry her down. Traver does fine going up, but obviously can't come down on his own. We don't have carpet so I worry more about falls.

Toilet training Anika is going to be a bit of a problem because it's a real hassle to haul all three kids upstairs just to try to go potty and then haul them all back down. I can't take one kid up without the others following behind me crying. Hopefully this is just something they will get used to and they will realize when I go upstairs, I'm not leaving, and I'll be right back.

Keira's toilet training has taken a downward curve lately. She is only going 50% of the time, and the other half she's going in her pants, hiding behind the couch, or in the closet. Poop apparently is a two step process - Poop in pants, deposit in toilet, use 50 wipes to clean up. I'm really not understanding WHY Keira will go clean herself up after she poops in her pants. Why doesn't she just go to the bathroom in the first place - like she used to.

I'm TRYING to be patient with her but it's hard because she's been trained about 4 times now and keeps going backwards. As I was venting my frustration with her today and sat her on the toilet and explained that we poop IN the potty, not our pants - she yells back at me that she falls in the toilet at Daddy's house. Now it makes sense. She doesn't want to poop on the potty because she's afraid she'll fall in. P in all his brillant wisdom went out to buy a new toilet one day without my knowledge. Instead of coming home with the one we had agreed on buying (that we had previously bought at our old house and loved it), he comes home with an enlongated seat fancy toilet that belongs in a house worth much more than our shack. Putting that toilet in our house is like putting stone countertops in a mobile home. Ridiculous! The biggest problem with the toilet is we got it when Keira was first toilet training and its too long to put a child sized insert in it and we never trained with the little portable potty's and I didn't want to start. She eventually got the hang of it, but it was tough.

So the dilemna is - do I get a porta potty for the main floor? If so, where do I put it, or how do I monitor cleaning it? I can just imagine Keira walking around with a bucket full of pee! Or do I get an insert for the toilet to make her feel more secure, (even though she doesn't need it), or do I just keep doing what we are doing and try not to lose my marbles everyday when I'm cleaning poop off the walls, the ceiling, her clothes, the toilet etc.